You are carrying your bundle of joy, and you're happy. Closing your eyes, and thinking of dolling her up, planting kisses on those chubby cheeks, sharing girlie stories once she's older, and getting a BFF for life, time surely flies!
In all those happy thoughts, you forget it's not only a 'healthy' baby that they silently wish for, but one of a fixed gender. Did it cross your mind even once that they would rather have a prince charming than a cute little princess. Cute li'l frilly frocks, and pink shoes might, after all, have to remain just in your dreams.
These thoughts strike you now that your D-day is near. Panic. Hysteria. Panic more than anything. Voila, it's a girl! Congratulations.
Remember the thoughts that struck you a while back? Well, you dismiss those and think of a happy place. Why would anyone not melt when they look at those clear eyes? You are in the hospital still. He comes and visits you. You're elated! He is beaming with joy too! What about them? They look happy. Relief for you! A few days later, and a random conversation over tea, you get to know for once and for all -- that they are not happy. Never were to begin with. Forget all this happened, you train your mind to not remember all this. You go back to assuming your responsibilities of the perfect bahu, biwi, and amma now. They also go back to their towns and assume theirs. Meanwhile, the house can't get enough of the pretty princess.
Years pass by, and you have now forgotten it all. Amid all the visits they pay you over vacations, your baby doll is wondering.
She sees it all: they don't love her, they don't play with her ever. They sit with the neighborhood rowdy boys, and give them her pocket-money. If it were a boy instead of her, she is told, their smiles would be different. "बियाँ पराया धन होती है " is also often told. She cannot understand what it means. Blue is not the color to dream for her baby when she has one, she quietly thinks to herself.
Whenever they visit, they never hear her still. They don't even acknowledge her at times. She goes to her room, and keeps wondering often then.
She's three now and you ecstatically tell her she'll have a sibling soon. Distracted and can't stop sharing the piece of news with her friends in kindergarten. Those eyes, full of glee, ah, look at them! They have come over, and tell her "finally, someone will carry our name." She doesn't understand what this means either but she hears them discussing in the kitchen "daai ko dikhayenge isse pehle ki der ho jaye." "Maa, daayi kya hota hai" she asks you and gets an incorrect answer in response. They ask you to go to the daai. You oppose, you oppose again. You tell them in this age, it doesn't matter. They don't listen. You oppose still. They turn a deaf ear, and threaten you now. You don't give in, and held your head strong.
D-day is near again, and those thoughts have started visiting you again! Dismissing them, you soothe yourself. "Where's the baby" you ask, and you get no reply. "It's your fault" they accuse you while your baby doll is waiting eagerly at home.
She waits for long. Goes to the temple hoping it'll be sooner than reality. After coming back home, she is asked to not ask any questions. How long will she have to wait to play the elder sister, she often wonders these days.
She's five, and she's told that the time has come again."You'll have a brother soon" they tell her, proud of the certainty in their statement. She doesn't believe them any more. You celebrate her sixth birthday, and they reluctantly give her the pocket money she has always prayed for. A few days later, there's another arrival in the house. There's an addition to the family and esto es a boy! Your family is now complete, and you're happy! Everyone is happy. They are happy, and you can see it.
Your baby doll is playing with her brother, and is happy. Nonetheless, she's wondering still.
They extend their vacations to spend more time with you and the family. They visit you more often now, and things are how they should be. A few years pass, but she has never stopped wondering.
PS: Please excuse me for the generalizations. The post is just my little way of telling you several true stories in India (and who knows where else). It isn't personal in any way. I do know a lot of people who'd give away anything to have a daughter. At the same time, however, I know people who'd kill n daughters before having a son.
I would be fine if this battle was in the minds limited to their wants and desires. Sadly, that isn't the case. The girls in this story are real Indian girls. The pink v/s blue baby war of babies never makes sense to me ( I firmly believe your baby is the one you're destined to have).
In all those happy thoughts, you forget it's not only a 'healthy' baby that they silently wish for, but one of a fixed gender. Did it cross your mind even once that they would rather have a prince charming than a cute little princess. Cute li'l frilly frocks, and pink shoes might, after all, have to remain just in your dreams.
These thoughts strike you now that your D-day is near. Panic. Hysteria. Panic more than anything. Voila, it's a girl! Congratulations.
Remember the thoughts that struck you a while back? Well, you dismiss those and think of a happy place. Why would anyone not melt when they look at those clear eyes? You are in the hospital still. He comes and visits you. You're elated! He is beaming with joy too! What about them? They look happy. Relief for you! A few days later, and a random conversation over tea, you get to know for once and for all -- that they are not happy. Never were to begin with. Forget all this happened, you train your mind to not remember all this. You go back to assuming your responsibilities of the perfect bahu, biwi, and amma now. They also go back to their towns and assume theirs. Meanwhile, the house can't get enough of the pretty princess.
Years pass by, and you have now forgotten it all. Amid all the visits they pay you over vacations, your baby doll is wondering.
She sees it all: they don't love her, they don't play with her ever. They sit with the neighborhood rowdy boys, and give them her pocket-money. If it were a boy instead of her, she is told, their smiles would be different. "बियाँ पराया धन होती है " is also often told. She cannot understand what it means. Blue is not the color to dream for her baby when she has one, she quietly thinks to herself.
Whenever they visit, they never hear her still. They don't even acknowledge her at times. She goes to her room, and keeps wondering often then.
She's three now and you ecstatically tell her she'll have a sibling soon. Distracted and can't stop sharing the piece of news with her friends in kindergarten. Those eyes, full of glee, ah, look at them! They have come over, and tell her "finally, someone will carry our name." She doesn't understand what this means either but she hears them discussing in the kitchen "daai ko dikhayenge isse pehle ki der ho jaye." "Maa, daayi kya hota hai" she asks you and gets an incorrect answer in response. They ask you to go to the daai. You oppose, you oppose again. You tell them in this age, it doesn't matter. They don't listen. You oppose still. They turn a deaf ear, and threaten you now. You don't give in, and held your head strong.
D-day is near again, and those thoughts have started visiting you again! Dismissing them, you soothe yourself. "Where's the baby" you ask, and you get no reply. "It's your fault" they accuse you while your baby doll is waiting eagerly at home.
She waits for long. Goes to the temple hoping it'll be sooner than reality. After coming back home, she is asked to not ask any questions. How long will she have to wait to play the elder sister, she often wonders these days.
She's five, and she's told that the time has come again."You'll have a brother soon" they tell her, proud of the certainty in their statement. She doesn't believe them any more. You celebrate her sixth birthday, and they reluctantly give her the pocket money she has always prayed for. A few days later, there's another arrival in the house. There's an addition to the family and esto es a boy! Your family is now complete, and you're happy! Everyone is happy. They are happy, and you can see it.
Your baby doll is playing with her brother, and is happy. Nonetheless, she's wondering still.
They extend their vacations to spend more time with you and the family. They visit you more often now, and things are how they should be. A few years pass, but she has never stopped wondering.
PS: Please excuse me for the generalizations. The post is just my little way of telling you several true stories in India (and who knows where else). It isn't personal in any way. I do know a lot of people who'd give away anything to have a daughter. At the same time, however, I know people who'd kill n daughters before having a son.
I would be fine if this battle was in the minds limited to their wants and desires. Sadly, that isn't the case. The girls in this story are real Indian girls. The pink v/s blue baby war of babies never makes sense to me ( I firmly believe your baby is the one you're destined to have).