I stumbled upon a video this morning, and didn't quite know how I felt minutes after watching it.
"Was I disgusted?" No.
"Was I angry?" No.
"Was I numb?" No.
The video moved me so much in few ways. It left me completely unmoved in many others. While the former was expected and fine, I was concerned about the latter. The question I wanted to ask myself was:
"Was I shocked at this face of reality?" Maybe not.
Another question that I wanted to ask myself is if I could help in any way. I don't know if this post makes any sense by the time it's written in entirely - but before starting, let me tell you I have the following reason to begin with.
When you should be playing out and living the best time of your life, someone as close as a family member abusing you not only betrays your trust in family, but also ruins concepts of humanity, innocence, and faith. At an age which lays the foundation of the coming years, nobody should ever have to face an ugly situation like this.
I have studied studied science for most part of my life, and know about the root cause analysis. Why then, when it comes to finding the roots of this bastardly and disgusting (pardon my French) act, I find nothing? There's this today that might ruin the victims tomorrow, do the abusers not understand this?
This post is more like -- venting out frustration? Maybe, if half of the abusers felt an inch of the same emotion I felt, there would come a day when posts like these would be futile. God knows, how badly I want one of those days to come, and soon!
I did some research, because numbers help in getting a clear picture in my head at times. Here are the stats and below, I've outlined my meandering thoughts:
- 72% of children suffer in silence (your silence, their silence):
The worst setback in cases of child sexual abuse is that the people prefer silence over speaking up. A child of five may not be able to discriminate, but as adults, we should know better that the silence treatment may just make the innocent child feel like a culprit instead of a victim. Another thing that we fail to realize is that the victims require attention and recovery, and some times, just an ear to listen. However, the opportunity to provide them with all this is lost somewhere in our silence.
- 64% of incest survivors in the adolescent age group (aged 10-18 years) also remain silent:
If a child of two could not speak, I'd understand the silence. However, if a teenager as old as sixteen chooses to remain silent, I'm a little worried.
"What could it be?" and "what could we do?" I think to myself about the silence bit and the following things come to my mind:
We should teach our children more conviction, from the very start. Also, "don't talk to strangers" doesn't apply in this case. As most sexual perpetrators are known to their victims, we should teach children to confide in very few people we trust.
The video moved me so much in few ways. It left me completely unmoved in many others. While the former was expected and fine, I was concerned about the latter. The question I wanted to ask myself was:
"Was I shocked at this face of reality?" Maybe not.
Another question that I wanted to ask myself is if I could help in any way. I don't know if this post makes any sense by the time it's written in entirely - but before starting, let me tell you I have the following reason to begin with.
When you should be playing out and living the best time of your life, someone as close as a family member abusing you not only betrays your trust in family, but also ruins concepts of humanity, innocence, and faith. At an age which lays the foundation of the coming years, nobody should ever have to face an ugly situation like this.
I have studied studied science for most part of my life, and know about the root cause analysis. Why then, when it comes to finding the roots of this bastardly and disgusting (pardon my French) act, I find nothing? There's this today that might ruin the victims tomorrow, do the abusers not understand this?
This post is more like -- venting out frustration? Maybe, if half of the abusers felt an inch of the same emotion I felt, there would come a day when posts like these would be futile. God knows, how badly I want one of those days to come, and soon!
I did some research, because numbers help in getting a clear picture in my head at times. Here are the stats and below, I've outlined my meandering thoughts:
- 72% of children suffer in silence (your silence, their silence):
The worst setback in cases of child sexual abuse is that the people prefer silence over speaking up. A child of five may not be able to discriminate, but as adults, we should know better that the silence treatment may just make the innocent child feel like a culprit instead of a victim. Another thing that we fail to realize is that the victims require attention and recovery, and some times, just an ear to listen. However, the opportunity to provide them with all this is lost somewhere in our silence.
- 64% of incest survivors in the adolescent age group (aged 10-18 years) also remain silent:
If a child of two could not speak, I'd understand the silence. However, if a teenager as old as sixteen chooses to remain silent, I'm a little worried.
"What could it be?" and "what could we do?" I think to myself about the silence bit and the following things come to my mind:
- Lack of awareness: Some of the children might not even know what happened to them, specially if they are very young. Some don't feel right, but the they're not sure of what it is, what to say, who to confide in, and so on. If they knew their convictions well, and also who to go to, life would be a little bit easier for them.
We should teach our children more conviction, from the very start. Also, "don't talk to strangers" doesn't apply in this case. As most sexual perpetrators are known to their victims, we should teach children to confide in very few people we trust.
- Trust their conviction: We should teach children basic sexual education. No one should touch the "private" parts. Period. Teach children that their bodies are their own. It is OK to say they do not want a hug or they can tell you that certain kinds of contact make them uncomfortable.
- Talk to us: As silence is such a big thing with such cases, we should foster strong communication skills with the children. Encourage them to ask questions and talk about their experiences. Explain the importance of reporting abuse to you or another trusted adult.
- Be their friends: Cliche, I know, but make an effort to know children's friends and their families.
- Basic hygiene factors: Instruct your child to never get into a car with anyone without your permission. Not go home with an uncle they've met across the street.
I leave on this note. This post is always going to be in the "drafts" mode. As I get more irate with the situation, I'll be back to scribble my thoughts further.